Here is the list of the common Facebook characters you should seek to avoid. At the very least, hide their posts from your news feed.
The Friend Who Is Full of Himself
For some folks, Facebook is a way to show the world just how hot they really are. These types of individuals junk Facebook with self-taken charm shots of themselves so that the whole world can see that they are, in fact, hot stuff.
4. The Friend Who Should At Least Try To Be Modest
“Porsche is in the shop…again! Thinking of upgrading this piece of junk.”
“Michael Jackson is dead!!!” You heard it from me first! Me, and the 465,000 other people who all saw it on BBC. These wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to announce the news, these people also blowout rumors, half-truths and ambiguity.
6. The Friend You Think Might Commit Suicide
“Wondering about the whole day, it all went wrong…”
“So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe”.
Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.
8. The Friend Who Considers His Life’s Daily Trivialities Actually Mean Something
“Breakfast today was too awesome, going to be an AMAZING day!”
“Barbara is feeling sad today.” “Man, am I glad that’s over.” “Jim could really use some good news about now.” Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks — baited with vague tales of woe — in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Unpretentious bad news is one thing, but these cunning posts are just appeals for attention.
10. The Friend Who Can’t Get Over a Broken Heart
“Maybe, it was never meant to be…”
The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you’ll be talking to them and they’ll mention something you posted, so you know they’re on your page, hiding in the shadows. It’s just a little creepy.
12. The Friend Who Has No Life
“Natty just found some White Mystery Eggs and wants to say thank you!”
Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone’s posted a photo of you from last weekend’s party — a photo you didn’t authorize and haven’t even seen? You’d really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.
“Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which ‘Star Trek’ character are you? Here are the ‘Top 5 cars I have personally owned.’ Here are ’25 Things About Me.’ Here’s a drink. What drink are you? We’re related! I took the ‘What President Are You?’ quiz and found out I’m Millard Fillmore! What president are you?”
“If not now than when?” “You’ll see…” “Grist for the mill.” “John is small world.” “Dave thought he was protected, but no. No, he is not.” [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you’re not being mysterious — just nonsensical.