Here is the list of the common Facebook characters you should seek to avoid. At the very least, hide their posts from your news feed.
1. Let Me Tell You Every Detail of My Day
“I am waking up.” “I am going to toilet.” “I am bored at work.” “I am stuck in traffic.” You are kidding! How charming! Just because you have 732 Facebook friends doesn’t mean we all want to know when you’re waiting for the bus.
2. The Friend Who Is Full of Himself
“Modeling performance was incredible! Off to the beach house with ma homies!”
For some folks, Facebook is a way to show the world just how hot they really are. These types of individuals junk Facebook with self-taken charm shots of themselves so that the whole world can see that they are, in fact, hot stuff.
3. The Friend-adder
“Micheal is now friends with Paul Jones and 34 other people” The average Facebook user has 120 friends on the site. Schmoozers and social butterflies — you know, the ones who make lifetime buddies on the underpass — might reasonably have 300 or 400. But 1,000 “friends?” Unless you’re Chuck Norris or just won the lotto, no one has that many. That’s just showing off.
4. The Friend Who Should At Least Try To Be Modest“Porsche is in the shop…again! Thinking of upgrading this piece of junk.”
That’s great and all, but we could surely care less. Francis Bacon, an English philosopher once said, “The less people speak of their greatness, the more we think of it.”
5. The Town Crier
“Michael Jackson is dead!!!” You heard it from me first! Me, and the 465,000 other people who all saw it on BBC. These wannabes are the reason many of us learn of breaking news not from TV or news sites but from online social networks. In their rush to announce the news, these people also blowout rumors, half-truths and ambiguity.
6. The Friend You Think Might Commit Suicide“Wondering about the whole day, it all went wrong…”
These types of persons rarely update their status, but, when they do, say something to that nature. It’s in our nature to want sympathy and compassion, but getting it from a few likes on your status isn’t going to make you feel any better. We all have our down days and the last thing people want to see in their own stressful lives is more stress, especially on a social platform they use to interact with their friends in a fun way.
7. The Bad Grammarian
“So sad about Fara Fauset but Im so gladd its friday yippe”.
Yes, I know the punctuation rules are different in the digital world. And, no, no one likes a spelling-Nazi schoolmarm. But you sound like a moron.
8. The Friend Who Considers His Life’s Daily Trivialities Actually Mean Something“Breakfast today was too awesome, going to be an AMAZING day!”
Guess what? Nobody cares! This person deems it necessary to entertain us with dull details of his or her life because he or she is oh-so-important.
9. The Sympathy-Baiter
“Barbara is feeling sad today.” “Man, am I glad that’s over.” “Jim could really use some good news about now.” Like anglers hunting for fish, these sad sacks cast out their hooks — baited with vague tales of woe — in the hopes of landing concerned responses. Unpretentious bad news is one thing, but these cunning posts are just appeals for attention.
10. The Friend Who Can’t Get Over a Broken Heart“Maybe, it was never meant to be…”
Every now and then you’ll have someone who has just broken up and feels it’s necessary to vent his or frustrations for the world to see.
That kind of talk belongs in confidential conversations with one’s closest friends; friend lists on Facebook include a lot of casual acquaintances who really don’t need to know about breakup details. Ranting about it on the social network looks pathetic.
11. The Lurker
The Peeping Toms of Facebook, these voyeurs are too cautious, or maybe too lazy, to update their status or write on your wall. But once in a while, you’ll be talking to them and they’ll mention something you posted, so you know they’re on your page, hiding in the shadows. It’s just a little creepy.
12. The Friend Who Has No Life“Natty just found some White Mystery Eggs and wants to say thank you!”
Not only does spending time on random quizzes and Facebook apps look like you have way too much time on your hands, it annoys your friends whose news feeds are already cluttered.
Facebook statuses should offer some sort of value to people who read them by being insightful, interesting, or funny. Share personal details of your life only with friends who have strong personal connections to you.
A click of the mouse or typing of a few words may not seem much. But what you put on facebook is remembered by your friends, family, and coworkers, affecting your relationships in real life.
13. The Paparazzo
Ever visit your Facebook page and discover that someone’s posted a photo of you from last weekend’s party — a photo you didn’t authorize and haven’t even seen? You’d really rather not have to explain to your mom why you were leering like a drunken hyena and French-kissing a bottle of Jagermeister.
14. The Chronic Inviter
“Support my cause. Sign my petition. Play Mafia Wars with me. Which ‘Star Trek’ character are you? Here are the ‘Top 5 cars I have personally owned.’ Here are ’25 Things About Me.’ Here’s a drink. What drink are you? We’re related! I took the ‘What President Are You?’ quiz and found out I’m Millard Fillmore! What president are you?”
15. The Obscurist
“If not now than when?” “You’ll see…” “Grist for the mill.” “John is small world.” “Dave thought he was protected, but no. No, he is not.” [Actual status updates, all.] Sorry, but you’re not being mysterious — just nonsensical.
